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Nicole B

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Why am I such a Jerk? [Feb. 11th, 2007|02:47 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |gratefulgrateful]

I will have 200 of my 900 hours of my intership done after next week. I love it. Friday I didn't get to go. As I was heading out of town I got sick. It was pretty embarassing actually.
I feel better now, and I have held down everything else I have eaten so far. hmmm gross.

Went to a hip hop dance on friday night, Chris came into town for it...it was fun. I think I over did it.

Saturday Kim came into town, it was refreshing to see her. I hope the much needed vacation was good for her as well :o)

I am coming to realize my full potential for being a complete jerk. I think this comes from a lack of grace for others, and also a lack of dicernment. The tounge is a powerful weapon. It is amazing to me that the same mouth that can bring encouragement can also tear people down. I do it without even realizing it... I think I need more of the Lord's words writen on my heart, because unless he is in the things I say to others, my words are useless and often destructive, to myself and more importantly those around me.

James wrote:

3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

I am sorry to those of you who my words have injured and Thank you to those who have encouraged me despite my redicularity.
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About time for an update [Jan. 10th, 2007|07:49 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |sicksick]

well today I am sick. I stayed home from what would have been the third day of my new internship. I am working with EPIC youth and family services in Yakima, so far I love it. My supervisor has his MDiv. I should get a lot of questions answered about how the theological meets the psychological. Perfect!

I am almost done collecting data for my thesis. If i can manage to defend it and turn it in by may 25, i get to walk for graduation this year. That and 884 more hours of internship and I will be done! wow it has been a long seven years...

Then what you ask? well I am not really sure. and you know what I like it that way right now.

Last night I went to salt, it was awesome. God reminded me that He is laying my future at my feet one step at a time, my focus simply needs to be on Him and working to become who he wants me to be.
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Just another hurdle [May. 8th, 2006|01:30 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |affirmed]

My thesis proposal went better than I could ever have imagined it would! I was definately nervous, but overall i said what needed to be said, and approval was granted! woohoo! Ohh and they think it may be publishable!!
I was reminded once again just how much I am loved. EIGHT of my friends showed up to listen to me speak. My thesis committee was somewhat shocked by the turn out. I guess thesis proposals are typically pretty lonely rooms, mine was a party! :o)

Graduate school has probably been the most challenging experience of my life thus far, and I am just continually amazed at how much I love it, and how much peace God provides. He did not put me here to fail.

In other news, I found out my internship placement for the fall. looks like i will be in ellensburg for another year :o)
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In denial about denial? [May. 4th, 2006|04:28 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]

Does denial exist? Or is it a construct that we have developed to convince oourselves that we know more about the thoughts and behaviors of others than they do?
I am not trying to be an extreemist, I am sure there are times when the idea of denial applies. (i.e. people refusing to acknowledge the obvious) What I am worried about is the potential, in the world of counseling and the rest of life, for this concept to be abused.
Admittedly people, including myself, often lack insight, and need things to be clarified for them. But constantly labeling people as in denial, to me is like saying you don't trust them.

Just my thoughts...take them for what you will...and if you have some insight I don't, share please :o)
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Sweet Home....Oregon?* [Apr. 30th, 2006|07:16 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |thankfulthankful]

Well I made it back to the burg safe and sound. My venture this weekend has given me a greater appreciation of many things.

1) my mom, she is incredible, you should have seen her be a trooper about her surgery. SHe is even healing like a champ, and is already up and walking around more than the doctors/nurses expected/required. Go Mom!

2) High speed internet...my parents have dial-up- enough said

3) Not sitting in a car- 20+ hours were spent driving/riding

* Sweet Home Oregon is where Randy Travis will be performing this summer...I am going and I am taking my family with me! muwahaha

ok that's all, it is time to do all the homework i neglected this weekend.
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Go ahead, ask me what I am doing this summer-I dare you! [Apr. 26th, 2006|11:14 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |contentcontent]

So today i got the call from Big Bend, a whole day early! and they offered me the job, so that is what i am doing this summer, working for this wonderful program in Moses Lake :o) isn't it lovely.

I propose my thesis next friday! eekkk!!

and this weekend i am off to the westside to visit my family.

next week, psychopath mid-term :oP

last weekend i found a wonderful dress for Tom's wedding. it will be here in 4-9 weeks! how crazy is that! and that is rush ordered! the bridal industry is nutty...i'm eloping.

in closing- peppermint tea is good
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This song is awesome-Think about it. [Apr. 20th, 2006|04:26 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |thankfulthankful]

The Bare Necessities

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature's recipes
That brings the bare necessities of life

Wherever I wander, wherever I roam
I couldn't be fonder of my big home
The bees are buzzin' in the tree
To make some honey just for me
When you look under the rocks and plants
And take a glance at the fancy ants
Then maybe try a few

The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life

Now when you pick a pawpaw
Or a prickly pear
And you prick a raw paw
Next time beware
Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw
When you pick a pear
Try to use the claw
But you don't need to use the claw
When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw
Have I given you a clue ?

The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!

So just try and relax, yeah cool it
Fall apart in my backyard
'Cause let me tell you something little britches
If you act like that bee acts, uh uh
You're working too hard

And don't spend your time lookin' around
For something you want that can't be found
When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin' about it
I'll tell you something true

The bare necessities of life will come to you
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There really is a lake in Moses Lake! Who knew?! [Apr. 19th, 2006|10:44 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |contentcontent]

obviously I am joking, but today was the first time in all my six years in Ellensburg that I have ventured to the thriving metropolis that is Moses Lake...

I went in for my interview today. I realize in my last post I failed to mention what the interview was for. There is this summer position I want as an RA (Residential Adviser) for the College Bound program in Moses Lake. It is basically the perfect job. I would get to work with high school kids in helping them gain the skills necessary for attaining their future goals. Does that scream school counselor or what?

Minor problems: I will likely have to miss my roommates wedding if I get hired, a possibility i was aware of before the interview, but still disappointing...
and I may not be hired because I am in a wedding on the last day of the program. Of course they asked about this at the end of the interview, and seemed somewhat disappointed when I mentioned it. Which in one way is encouraging that they wouldn't want this to stop them from being able to hire me, but not so good in that it may make me un-hireable. They said they would take note of it, and call me late next week after interviews are finished.

I am not really sure what to hope for. I will just be happy to find out. Honestly either way, God has a plan, and that is really what I want anyway. If this program isn't it, then that is ok.

I think I have spring fever (not in the romantic sense) but in the I would rather be outside playing than doing homework sense. It was wonderful to go to Moses Lake with Tami today and have a nice leisurely time eating at a cafe and wandering the campus of Big Bend in the sunshine. I want more days like this and less days filled with reading the DSM-IV-TR.
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# 309,567 You future is ready for you.... [Apr. 18th, 2006|10:27 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |nostalgicnostalgic]

Do you ever feel that way? like you are sitting in a lounge somewhere waiting for your number to be called?

Tomorrow I have a job interview in Moses Lake. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I haven't had a job interview in a loooong time, and I hate the idea of selling myself...hopefully I can just be genuine. I know I am qualified for this job, and I know I will have it if it is the Lord's will...so don't worry...easier said than done...

Nostalgia has hit, I find myself reminiscing about 5 years ago, thinking about who I was then, who I am now, and the vast differences between the two. Interesting...

This weekend I go bestmaid dress shopping...fun! cute black dress here I come :o)
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Peace that transcends all understanding... [Mar. 30th, 2006|12:33 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |goodgood]
[music |drip drop of the water fountain]

I am having some trouble with the concept of fear. Often I use the word fear to describe being worried or anxious. But as of late God is showing me that fear and worry are not necessarily the same thing. Can fear be a good thing? I know that perfect love casts out all fear(1 John), but at the same time we are told to fear the Lord. It is even listed as a praiseworthy quality for a woman to fear the Lord (prov 31). I wonder if my thoughts could be cleared up by a simple word study. ahh the limitations of english, so much to describe and so few words to describe it.

How does this apply to my life right now. well, I am in a place I have never experienced before. I am filled with peace in circumstances that would typically leave me anxious and discombobulated. I am a bit overwhelmed by this peace to be perfectly honest, even a little scared by it. Can you have peace and be a little scared? I think so, I think a healthy amount of fear is what keeps me relying on God.

The psychology major in my wants to operationally define peace, fear, and anxiety.

In the end God's will is what I pray for.

In other news, Mexico was great, not relaxing but definitely the refresher I needed. and this quarter is shaping up nicely, I just figured out that I have no research papers, save my thesis. Not bad for a final quarter of course work.

Over and Out
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