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Nicole B

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The aunts go marching one by one..hurra! hurra! [Mar. 13th, 2006|01:17 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |melancholymelancholy]

The countdown continues...only 1 giant final and I am done with this quarter. I would also like to write a few more pages of my lit review for my thesis before I leave for Mexico. I will work on it tomorrow night for a couple of hours and then send it off to my thesis chair so she can take a look at it over the break...
I leave for Mexico in 3 days, im excited but also a bit scared, not sure why.
I only have 1 more pill in my little antibotics bottle to take! yay!
and 1 doctors appointment on thursday to make sure i'm healthy before i head off to Mexico.

thats all i think...
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The things on my desk... [Mar. 3rd, 2006|01:08 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |awakeawake]

say a lot about what is going on in my life...

The date stamper: Tells me that it is Mar 03 2006, only 13 days until we leave for Mexico, and this quarter is behind me.

Pile of Financial Aid brochures: Represent the paper that is due on tuesday. I will be developing a guidance ciriculm about college planning and financial aide for high school students. Potentially useful for my future career.

Mug of Water: Reminds me that i forgot my nalgene bottle today, which makes me worry i will not do well at staying hydrated today. I have a doctors appointment to check out my shady metabolism.

Two Manilla Envelopes: Stuffed with my completed application materials for the College Bound position that I would like to get for the summer. I will be mailing them off today, then it will officially be out of my hands and in God's much bigger and more capable hands...Then all i have to do is sit in anticipation, i mean wait patiently, to hear whether they want to hire me.
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In sync with the flips and the flops that I rock- Paul Wright [Feb. 24th, 2006|11:09 am]
Nicole B
[mood |sleepysleepy]

I decided yesterday that it is flip-flop season. I think perhaps i have made this decision a bit prematurely. Yesterday my feet, specifically my toes, were not to happy with me. Ohh but how i love the "flip-flop-flip-flop" it is the sound of spring! You would think that i learned my lesson, and that today i would go back to cozy socks and warm shoes, but no, if you looked under my desk at work you would find cute french-tipped toes (i did them myself), wearing my favorite camo flip flops. Yes my feet are still cold, but it is worth it!

on 2 more weeks left in the quarter...3 papers, 2 tests, and lots of thesis work...i'm not worried

I think I may have found a job for the summer. I am going to apply for a position at Big Bend community college working with their residential summer school program for high school kids. It is perfectly aligned with my future career goals, and it would give me the entire month of august off! which also perfectly aligns with my summer goals of being transient for a large portion of the summer :o) yay! Now all that needs to happen is for me to get hired.
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Random thoughts from a cloudy head [Feb. 18th, 2006|10:15 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |sicksick]

As I drove into town and around my neighborhood last night, I realized that I could see further than normal, no I don't mean this methaphorically, more trees have been cut down. somehow the neighborhood feels more open, vulnerable, less secure, maybe its just me.

I was really happy with my current level of health, I hadn't gotten sick all quarter, which was a refreshing change from last quarter when I was sick pretty much every day. Yesterday I got sick. I had to meet with the local high school counselor this morning at 9am..so early for a saturday especially in Forks where i sleep really well, and considering that I am sick. I spent the rest of my day laying on my couch.
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The Cost-Benefit Analysis for Faith in God [Feb. 16th, 2006|01:03 pm]
Nicole B
Somebody asked me an interesting question the other day- I'm not sure my response given in the moment was complete, actually I am not sure there is a complete response to the question...It has been on my mind for days. Here is my thought process so far.

If God does not guarantee a life free from suffering then what can we expect from Him?

This question was difficult for me to answer, I felt like any response I that came to mind was trite. However, I think it is a shame when statements that are true are stated so much and in such a way that they become almost cliche, I don't feel like this always have to diminish their truth or usefulness.

I bet you are wondering what my answer to this question was. Well I said that God provides peace, contentment and the promise of a future spent with Him in eternity. While true, it doesn't seem complete, I think partly because we cannot always put words to all the wonders that God has in store for us. We have a few that we like to use, heaven, eternity, but really do these words convey the beauty, grace, and abundant blessings that await us. God guarantees us Himself, He is good, there is none like Him, He promises not to leave or forsake us (this does not imply that we won't feel left or forsaken, but I am ready to admit that what I feel is not always representative of how things are). He promises us life and life abundantly, I don't think that has to wait until heaven. I could go on listing his promises, but I think the answer to this question is still incomplete, we can list all that God is going to bless us with but there is another question that needs to be considered to make sense of this matter:

Is it worth it?

It would be ridiculous to ask for somebody to make commitment to anything by only listing the benefits without taking into consideration the costs. Taking up our cross and following Him is hard, there is a sacrifice of self that is asked for, anyone who tells you differently is sugarcoating it. So is it worth it? Are you/we willing to let go?
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Young and Free from attachments [Feb. 14th, 2006|01:06 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |hopefulhopeful]

So it is Valentines day, I think I am supposed to be in remorse for my singleness...but I am totally not! in fact my first thought today regarding my singleness was one of empowerment. A friend mentioned that it is his lifelong dream to be completely transient, unattached from all responsibility and committment. This is not a goal I have for my entire life, I look forward to the responsibilities and committments I will make in the future, but rather than be discontent and long for those now, and create the opportunity for regrets, I feel as though I should make the most of this time. Why am I in such a hurry to grow up?
Summer is coming, I could do anything I want, I don't have to plan for two right now, I only have to answer to God and myself. Of course there are a few summer commitments that I have made, like being in a wedding and attending a few others, but I'm sure that I could still have an adventure. I wonder what it will be. ohh the possibilities...

suggestions are welcome :o)

ohh and my friends brought me a rose, this has made my day :O)
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I'm so happy I wish I could cry! [Feb. 10th, 2006|10:48 am]
Nicole B
[mood |pleasedpleased]

Among the many ups and even more downs of this week was one request that humbled and honored me all at the same time.
My friend Tom has been trying to choose a bestman for his wedding, and yesterday he told me that the only person in his mind that matches up with his standards of what a bestman should be is me, so he asked me to be his bestwoman. I said "I think we should call me the bestmaid!"
I am so excited!! It is probably the biggest honor I have been given so far in my life. Im not sure he understands the impact he has made on my life, and i am humbled to know the impact i have made on his.


ok thats all...well its not all, but all the rest is too much to type...

ohh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLEI!!! (that is my sister for those of you who do not know)
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One Tomorrow at a Time?? [Jan. 24th, 2006|01:32 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |melancholymelancholy]

I have said repeatedly in the past few weeks that I don't want to think past June, it all becomes a blur past June. Despite my best efforts to not worry about and plan for my near future, it has begun planning itself. In the past week I have had two conversations with my summer boss , one stating that I could have my choice of jobs and the resort, and the other potentially offering me a job as the manager of the store that I have worked at the past two summers. What to do? A few friends from here have offered to apply for jobs and come with me, this would take care of problem number one I have in Forks, my general lack of friends. But I don't really know where I want to be this summer, or where internship is going to take me next fall. To many questions. I guess I just have to take it one tomorrow at a time. Actually that's not right either, "Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself, each day holds enough trouble of its own." (Matt. 6:24, Paraphrased of course).

So many more thoughts. Not sure how to express them.
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Inch by Inch [Jan. 3rd, 2006|08:34 pm]
Nicole B
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |calebbaker.com]

So it's a new year, 2006...how is that really possible i wonder? I spose I am supposed to start fresh, promise to do something different this year...Why do we need a day on a calendar, and an hour on a clock to turn over in order to feel motivated to change? Don't get me wrong, I think it is great to dedicate the new year to the Lord, but why not every month, week, or day even. I guess the bigger the time span the bigger the promise to change?
It is always frustrating to be at the begining of change, its exciting too, but the climb has barely begun and the chance of backsliding seems inevitable...I wish i could just leap up to the top of the mountain, but change is a process...you have a goal and you work toward it.
I don't like that I am still who I don't want to be...at this point of the process it takes little effort to see where you started, you just have to turn your head, progress seems slow going.
but I take heart in the fact that "the One who calls me is faithful and He will do it." (1 Thes 5:24).

So what is my new year's resolution you ask. simple to seek God above all else.
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kids say the darndest things [Dec. 30th, 2005|01:06 am]
Nicole B
[mood |sleepysleepy]

So I havent really accomplished much over break, but I have spent a lot of time with my family, which i spose is an accomplishment in itself. I had several conversations with my brother, quality mother daughter time (aqua-aerobics), a trip to PA with each sister, and tomorrow my dad is showing me how to put in spark plugs, add that to the single's manifesto ;o)

My nephew Zack is hilarious, he used to be really quiet, it was hard to get him to speak, but now he is talking up a storm. Here are a few of my favorite Zack quotes from the past two weeks

"Ohh my Dod!"

Zack-"What you doin?"
Nicole-"Putting laundry in the dryer."
Zack-"How dare you!"

"What happened to you face?" (I had a face mask on)

"Little boys like to be dirty."

"I saw a giant PUMA!"

Zack to Lisa on the Phone "You FIRED, Hang up!"

On his birthday_
Anyone- "Happy Birthday Zack!"
Zack- "Happy Birthday to YOU!"

"Chase me aunt Tol" (aunt Tol= me)
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